Why we are sh** at self care

​As part of my day job, as well as speak to individuals about a range of things that are important to them in their life, I also give training on mental health.  One of the things that I am always reminded of is that mental health is a continuum.  

At one of the continuum we could be languishing, very mentally unwell.  In this place we may not be functioning to our full potential.  We may struggle to sleep well, eat, attend social functions, go to work, get out of bed.  Our ability to deal with crisis may be diminished, and the number of crisis we face may increase. 

Somewhere, in the middle of the spectrum, we are surviving.  This is where we might be going through the motions, but there is still a lot of struggle.  Things might be difficult.  We might use a lot of caffeine, alcohol or other coping strategies, that may be good for a short while, but may not work out too well over the long term.

On the other end of the spectrum, we are thriving. Things are good. Not because every thing is perfect, but because we have the physical, emotional and mental resources to meet any challenges that come up.  We have a sense of purpose and connection to life, and we are able to give back to others in a meaningful way.

Often, we move around this scale, and that is normal.  Often when we feel overwhelmed, depleted we are in the surviving range.  And it is exactly because we are too busy just keeping up with our to do lists, not sleeping well, putting out spot fires that we might stay in this range. Often in survival mode, we feel separated from others, we believe the various internal narratives in our own heads and get stuck in the stories of how we think life should be.  The last thing we can think of doing is some self care.  It feels indulgent, a luxury we don’t have time or energy for.

But here’s the thing.  Self care is what we know helps with good mental health and well-being.  We know its not rocket science.  And maybe it’s because the strategies are so simple that they seem so hard.  Many strategies involve planning to make time for things we enjoy, to appreciate the positive things in life and be grateful for the small things. 

So how can yoga and mindfulness help.  Often yoga and meditation just become another thing on the “Should” pile…But often that’s because our models for what yoga and mindfulness are a bit skewed in our modern life.  We often think of these practices are a thing we need to do, make time for, or add to our life.  Yoga in its broad sense however is a state of being.

The practices of yoga, and mindfulness can take the form of informal, as well as formal. 

When we think in this way, we can make little acts of self care a part of our everyday lives. And that will help us to thrive. 

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